ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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