he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I FOUND THE LEGS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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