you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize