Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
