..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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