it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
