Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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