it glows. i had to have it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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