Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
