Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize