how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize