We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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