I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
