thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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