Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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