Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The air taste purple.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
