you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
