how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i think im in europe. pls send help
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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