All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
