You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
