oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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How external is "for external use only"?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize