i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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