in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
