One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town