My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How does one acquire holy water?