Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic