I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
