i just snorted my name. best moment ever
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
