I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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