you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
