its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
