Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
