please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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