I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
