You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".