sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.