I feel like I'm in dance class right now
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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