I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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