sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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