Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize