You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
