So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
