Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
