Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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