ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
