Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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