you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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