just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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