i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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