I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
