I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
