We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
