Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize