i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
