Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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