Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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