That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
