Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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