dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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