no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Someone shit on the floor
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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