wrigley field is MILF paradise
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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