she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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